


My Dearly Departed

by im_so_emo



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Apologies, Canonical Character Death, Post-Canon, Suicide, Tree Bros, basically Evan visiting connor’s grave, evan hansen x Connor Murphy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 08:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_so_emo/pseuds/im_so_emo
Summary: “H-hi, connor.” Evan’s voice wavered. “Even though I pretended to be your friend, I’ve... never come here.”The gravestone stared coldly back at him. Silent. Unmoving.“I know it’s been three years. But I’m here to apologize.”





	My Dearly Departed

**Author's Note:**

> so I’m back!!!!! The notes at the end will explain why I’ve been away for so long.  
> This was sort of a vent but I hope you all enjoy it anyways.  
> <3

 

Evan wasn’t sure what compelled him to do this.

It had been three years.

Three years since his senior year of high school.

Three years since he’d broken his arm.

Three years since Connor had killed himself.

And yet here he was, walking through the cemetery with a white rose in his hand.

Scanning the gravestones, his eyes finally landed on a painfully familiar name.

         CONNOR MURPHY

               1998–2015

For a while, Evan didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. How could he?

“H-hi, connor.” Evan’s voice wavered. “Even though I pretended to be your friend, I’ve... never come here.”

The gravestone stared coldly back at him. Silent. Unmoving.

“I know it’s been three years. But I’m here to apologize.”

A cloud rolled over the sun, bathing Evan with a cold breeze. He pulled his sweater tighter around himself.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I lied about everything. I’m sorry that I gave your family hope that maybe you were getting better but...” his voice trailed off. “I created a whole new version of you to benefit myself. I hurt so many people, and all for what?”

Wind rustled the trees above Evan, sending leaves showering down around him.

A lump choked up in Evan’s throat. “I fucked up. I fucked up and now... now I’m here,”

Tears rolled down his face. He dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand. “Everything that happened was because of me. Maybe if I had written my letter in the morning like I was supposed to, then you... you wouldn’t have taken it...”

Evan’s lip trembled and a sob escaped his throat. “I don’t even know if you can hear me. Maybe you won’t even know I’m here. Maybe you don’t even know that I pretended to be your friend. But,” he glanced down at the white rose. “I hope wherever you’re at now is better than it was for you here.”

Still crying, Evan bent down and gently placed the rose at the grave. Evan stood back up and exhaled shakily, turning around and slowly walking away.

As he turned back to look at the grave one last time, he swear he could have seen Connor. Standing beside the gravestone, with a sad, warm smile on his face. He nods once, as if accepting Evan’s apology, before the sun came out again. Connor disappears with the soft wave of sunlight, as if there was never anything there.

Evan smiled, too. Because he felt a peace inside himself now.

 

_All we see is sky, for forever._

 

_All I see is sky, for forever._

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back!  
> I’ve got a few stories in the making and I’m SO sorry for the long absence.  
> I started high school and got hit really hard with depression and anxiety, which made me lose my motivation to write, draw, and even live. But I’m back now, not completely better, but I’m back. My tumblr is @bubblyaliencats if you want to scream about deh with me or look at my art!  
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
